I never imagined I would be asked to leave the country only days after arriving, even if it was just for a short time. We were driving from Abbotsford, British Columbia to White Rock when we missed a turn. Brian decided to head toward Zero Avenue, not knowing it had been closed for months, and ended up at the border crossing. He tried to back up but was told he had to go through. The officer said it would be no problem, “Just tell them you are lost and they will let you turn around, it happens all the time.”

“We don’t have our passports.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

It didn’t matter, on the American side. They searched our car and asked us a few questions.

“We’re home free,” I said as we drove up to the Canadian side, but I was in for a surprise.

“How long were you in the States?” the officer asked.

“Just a few minutes. We were lost and told we had to cross.”

“Pull your car over here and get out.”

Three officers peppered us with suspicious questions and then sent us inside. We shifted uncomfortably on our chairs, waiting to be granted permission to enter by the men who had just told us to leave. I had never imagined it would be so hard to get back into my own country.

We, as people, crave acceptance. After being away from Canada for two years I felt uncertain about coming back. Would I be able to relate to people? Would I be able to complete simple tasks such as buying groceries or going to the bank? I needed to be welcomed. My welcome was not found with the border patrol officers, but their interrogations highlighted the constant welcome that we did receive from Brian’s brother and sister-in-law.

I say constant because they hosted us for three weeks.

Can you imagine our family of five moving in with you for three weeks? It is a lot to ask of anyone. Staying at someone’s place for that long, they are getting the full package. The ups and downs, the good moments, the stretching, and even embarrassing moments. We were not there just to visit either, we were working from their house and trying to schedule and get to meetings in the midst of adjusting to this country that is technically ‘home’.

They saw our re-entry into Canada closer than anyone else. Shortly after our arrival, my sister-in-law asked me if I wanted to go grocery shopping with her, I immediately felt anxious. I am so used to China now it’s Canada that I need to adjust to. I won’t know what to buy, I won’t know how to pay, I will make a fool of myself. My initial response was to decline, avoid letting someone else see me as I am. I wanted to hide my anxiety, avoid the embarrassment of having someone see my insecurities. But how could I hide all of my flaws for three weeks? It would make for a challenging visit. I chose to be open, just as she had opened her home and her life to me. I told her how nervous I was.

She graciously walked me through my first Wal-Mart experience, showing me where each item on my list was and she stayed close in case I couldn’t figure out how to pay with my credit card.

I made it through with only one small embarrassment, when the cashier asked if I wanted her to bag my purchase. Since I had brought my own bags I assumed that I would do it myself.

“Do you do that?”

“Haven’t you ever had anyone bag your groceries here before?” Her look said, You should know this.

I had made a mistake, just like I had been afraid that I would, but it was cushioned by the gracious acceptance of my sister-in-law. Apparently she didn’t think it was the end of the world that I had missed a cue. By being open about how nervous I had been, and experiencing her acceptance, it was easier to open up the next time. We had several great talks over our three weeks together and she was a steady source of encouragement to me.

It is hard to let others see our inadequacies but when they are received with acceptance, the risk turns to reward.

My sister-in-law amazed me, first by being willing to host our whole family for three weeks, and then by accepting us in the midst of our awkwardness of being lost in our home country.

That was a welcome worth remembering.