“Monkeys,” my kids squealed as they ran to the enclosure. One climbed the chain-link, peering out at us, while another scurried across a beam.

“Look, a baby!” I pointed. Their eyes turned to a mother gazing down at a miniature version of herself, who clung to her chest. A calming scene in the midst of activity, until she reached her long arms up and grasped the dangling ropes, one after another, propelling herself, and her baby, across the length of the enclosure. “That baby has to hold on tight,” my daughter said.

Sometimes I wonder if my own kids feel like the baby monkey. If I’m not careful, I take them on a wild ride, not physically but emotionally.

After three weeks of sleepless nights in celebration of the year of the monkey, I am tired. When I lose sleep, my fuse shortens. My kids notice.

They don’t get a break from me either, since I am both mom and teacher. While we usually have variety in our schedule, the city nearly shut down for the holidays. Our regular activities were suspended for a month and most of our friends travelled. I anticipated filling our days with trips to the park; the cold kept us indoors. We’ve all been home, all day and I’ve been getting tense.

I see it in the hurt look in my daughter’s eyes after I snap at her. I hear it when my teenage son slams his door after I’ve reacted too strongly. I could wait it out – spring is right around the corner – but I want to be able to prevent getting to this point. If I’m not emotionally healthy, I can’t be the mom I want to be. I can’t guide my kids through the challenges they face or even share in their joys.

To parent successfully, I need to be intentional. So when the fireworks start blasting and my head starts pounding, I’ve been stepping back and asking myself how I can manage life positively. As a result, I find myself taking more walks. Getting my heart rate up gives me a more positive perspective and time out of the house offers an opportunity to clear my head. I also write. Journaling is a wonderful way to unwind tangled thoughts. I’ve even been weaving some into story form. As a result, I’ve been calmer.

I used to feel guilty if I took time away from my family and responsibilities. I thought I was letting them down. Now I see the value in taking a break, and coming back refreshed. Planning this time into my schedule prevents me from becoming overwhelmed. Some of my other healthy outlets are visiting with friends, going out with my family, and drawing with my daughter.

I hope you have your own list of activities that bring you life. It may even overlap with mine. The key is, we all need time to unwind. If we don’t take it, we suffer, and so do those we love most. We need to be proactive and give ourselves space to breathe in the midst of challenge.

Yes, I do consider three weeks of interrupted sleep a challenge. And while the festival is officially over, firecrackers are still popping as I close this post. I’m counting on the noise ending soon so I can relax with my three monkeys and we can enjoy the wild ride of life, together.